A guilty feeling.

I never thought I would have to take Madison to daycare, but she started last Monday {04.05.2011} She did really well and seemed to improve each day as I dropped her off and let her know I would be back with a hug and a kiss. I think she's taking it better than I am honestly, I still feel like I failed as a mom for even putting her into daycare. I feel like I still have time to take her out of there to stay at home with me, but at the same time I get told that it will get better and I'm hoping it does for both Madison and I. I just need to feel more at ease, but my separation anxiety is pretty ridiculously bad when it comes to leaving Madison. I know, I thought she would have it worse than me, but it's way worse for momma.

While we begin daycare, we are also working on weaning from nursing which is proving to be a challenge for me as well. In my a&p 242 class, we have been talking about the hormones that produces...the milk which is oxytocin while prolactin releases the milk to let down. I know nerd talk, sorry had to show off some what I've learned so far :) Well it's getting harder to not want to nurse her whenever I am around her, yes I nurse her at night but we are working on cutting out more of the day nursing which seems to be working just fine! I never thought weaning would be harder than this! Ah!